Embrace your Pace
Almost 50 years ago, on a dark spring night my dad started running red lights. It was past 3 am and there were no cars on the road. In the passenger seat of their new chevy station wagon, my mom was breathing hard. As they crossed the James River on the Huguenot Bridge my mom told him to pull over into what was then a Safeway shopping center. (now it’s a Starbucks)
A few minutes later I came screaming into the night. *details below if you want them
My mom says it’s the fastest thing I ever did.
Moving at my own Pace
Ever since my rather dramatic birth I’ve moved at my own pace. Slowly.
I think fast, but talk slow. I physically walk slowly, and practice yoga at a moderate pace. I can workout for days - but only if you let me do it at a steady, even tempo. I have great ideas, but they take their time to mature and come to fruition.
I used to stress over my pace. I used to want to get things done faster, to be an early adopter, to have an idea and bring it to life immediately. But over time, I’ve come to embrace it. Though it may irritate my get-up-and-go husband sometimes, my pace feels good. Pushing it never works. I end up broken and burned out. Not only that, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot in my first 48 years on the planet. I have no plans to stop. I’ll just keep a snail’s pace while I do it.
Natural Rhythm
Last week I wrote about pulsation. All of life moves in pulsation. And so do you. Looking closer, you’ll notice you have a natural rate of pulsation. It’s the pace that you like to keep in your life. Call it your natural rhythm.
Life pulses.
Pulses have rhythm.
YOU pulse in a rhythm.
If you pay attention you’ll see your natural rhythms. What time of year energizes you? What part of the year drains you? (Rhythm) What part of the day feels best for getting things done? What part feels best for rest? (Rhythm) How fast do you like to get places? Are you early? on time? late? How slowly do you walk, talk, move, breathe? All of that is your natural rhythm.
Modernity & Rhythm
If you can’t answer these questions, that’s no surprise. Modernity has a bonkers rhythm. It’s a pulse that goes way faster than your heartbeat. It is way faster than the pace of a flower growing or a mama duck paddling in a lake.
Modernity’s demand is that we keep moving, are as fast as machines, and do it all with an urgency that sends blood pressure through the roof. Not to mention there’s perpetual noise and light that alter our sleep/wake cycles, and mess with our hormones. Oh, and caffeine, screens, and other nonsense
It’s no surprise if you have no idea what your natural rhythm feels like. You might not have felt it in ages. Most folks are deeply separated from their natural rhythms. And, sadly, few even notice. At most, they may sense that something’s off and that they’re always running around like a chicken who’s lost its head.
Get Back to Yours
But, you can get it back. Your natural rhythm is always with you. Researchers have observed what happens when we unplug from modernity, and step back into nature. A few minutes a day can have a small impact (kind of like a soothing salve on an irritated injury). A few days (they say 3 is the magic number) and sleep/wake cycles regulate, thinking gets clear and a natural ease settles in. Enough time out there and you’ll start singing. The singing is so predictable that Robin Wall Kimmerer mentions it specifically in her book Braiding Sweetgrass.
You can also get your natural rhythm back as you live your regular life, but it takes more work. Since I doubt you’re about go to live off grid it’s worth considering how you can do that without giving up your favorite tv show. Here are some suggestions for re-acquainting yourself with your natural rhythm.
TRY THIS
- CAVEAT: REST Most folks I know aren’t getting enough sleep. It’s impossible to know your natural rhythms if you’re starved for rest. You’ll always feel tired and nothing else. By catching up on rest eventually you won’t feel so depleted. That will make it a lot easier to recognize your rhythm.
Consider yourself through the seasons - A lot of women I know can already speak to this. How do you feel in the Spring? the Summer? the Autumn? the Winter? This accounts for your bigger annual rhythm.
Consider yourself through the day - This rhythm might be more disturbed because of the demands of modernity and lack of rest, but are you a morning person or a night owl? When is your brain most fresh? When do you like to chill out? Thinking of an unstructured vacation can give you clues about this.
Pay attention to your breath. What is the pace and rhythm of your breath? Do you tend to breathe faster than the person beside you? Slower?
Reclaim your rhythm in a yoga practice. Move at the pace of your breath (even if the teacher’s cues are faster or slower). Honor your breath pace and let the practice match.
To get back even a little bit of your natural rhythm, take all of this understanding and make some small adjustments. Maybe you go to bed a little earlier, or you don’t take meetings before 10am. Maybe you plan a lighter winter schedule and bulk it up in the summer. Reclaiming your natural rhythm is about making choices that support you to align with it.
Your Natural Rhythm Matters
On the physical level, the pulses of your heart, breath, hormones, circadian cycles all need a regular rhythm. When that rhythm is balanced and predictable it leads to a healthy body and mind. It leads to energetic health.
And besides feeling good, it’s also a huge F-bomb to the machinations of modernity. Letting go of the urgency so you can move at your natural pace means stepping back from the demands of the go-go-go culture. Doing things at a human rate makes you less like a machine, anti-AI. Urgency, machines, quickness, overbearing AI all of it keep the system in place. The system isn’t interested in taking care of humans. But nature is.
Self Worth and Your Bigger Circle
Stepping into your natural rhythm takes care of at least one human: YOU.
Moving through your life at your natural rhythm is a tremendous act of self-love. It is a way of affirming (saying yes) to who you are at your core. It is how you claim your value, your worthiness, your enough-ness. It’s about not fighting who you are but embracing yourself, your pace, your rhythm as the way you most Authentically interface with creation. It is the starting point for living into your Authentic frequency which we’ll talk about next time.
When you take care of you, you step a little back from the damage the system does. Not only that, your rhythm automatically impacts the people around you (especially the ones you live with). Like concentric rings widening into the world around you, your rhythm helps re-establish the rhythms of those you love, those you work with, and those you interact with. Your entire ecosystem gets a pump of care.
I think this is why folks often say things like “you’re so peaceful” “you have such a calming presence’ when they’re with me. They’re feeling something of the pulse of my rhythm. I don’t align with nature for anyone but me. But natural rhythms are so powerful and innately calming, that folks near me pick up on it. (And the ones who live with me definitely know when my rhythm is off).
You’re always on Time
I don’t know what the future will bring. But i do know that you’ll feel more at ease in your body, heart, and mind, if you move towards it at a pace that feels good.
Embrace your natural rhythm and know that you can never be too late. You are always right on time (even if it took ages to get wherever you’re going).
* I legit was born in the car in the River Road Shopping center on the way to the hospital. The good news is that my mother was a labor and delivery nurse. Her best friend, who was also a L&D nurse was in the car behind. When they pulled into the parking lot, my mom got in the backseat and her best friend delivered me. Then they drove to St. Mary’s where I was quarantined away from the other babies. I can only imagine that this was perfect for my newborn introverted self.
My birth earned me the nickname: Safeway Sarah
My mom says mine was the easiest birth she had out of 4. She wisely decided on a homebirth for my younger brother though.