Pause and Offer
I did it this morning. At 6 am and 7am both -- because I was still sitting there an hour later. I did my Oms and Invocations and then spoke aloud whatever came to my heart. Prayers for John, for everyone in the community, for this yoga itself.
I felt better. I feel better. I'm realizing not everyone is at the same point as me and may not go about their grief in the same way as me. SO it's not a global movement, it's a deeply personal one, and that's ok.
I read an article recently on the importance of Ritual. And in therapy training, and yoga training, we're always learning the importance of creating ritual. Particularly for marking occasion.
The reason I like it is that it works. Ritual can serve as a way to channel emotions and help create the process of moving forward. In cases of death and loss, the rituals of funerals and memorials mark the end, and the new start. Not forgetting, not running away, but marking the very painful change. I don't do grief all that well and I was reminded by my mother this weekend that it is not something that will go away. Ever. Grief is carried with you for the rest of your life... so Ritual helps to lessen the burden.
Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love: "This is what rituals are for. We do spiritual ceremonies as human beings in order to create a safe resting place for our most complicated feelings of joy or trauma. So that we don't have to haul those feelings around with us forever, weighing us down. We all need such places of ritual safekeeping. And I do believe that if your culture or tradition doesn't have the particular ritual you are craving then you are absolutely permitted to make up a ceremony of your own devising, fixing your own broken-down emotional systems with all the do-it-yourself resourcefulness, of a generous plumber/poet."
Now I'm feeling a little sad again. But my plan for the afternoon is to practice like I mean it, and to go from there. Hopefully the dissolving into tears will wait until savasana or later today. Maybe afterwards I'll just go back to my cushion and again offer blessings blessing blessings of healing for everyone involved. Prayers for spaciousness and healing. It is what works for me.
What are you doing today?