Infinite Do-Overs (You get to try again)
Recently a physical therapist told me it takes six to seven thousand repetitions of a movement for it to become automatic.
Six to seven THOUSAND.
I feel like I’m forever starting over, so hearing that was kind of reassuring.
Like most people I have just a few things on my list - total perfection of body, mind, heart and life - and somehow I never seem to be able to keep them all going at once. (Go figure!)
Inevitably I mess something up. Either, I’ve lost my good eating habits or I’m back to putting tons of mental pressure on myself, or my practices have slipped a bit and now I’m binge watching reality TV to the point where I can’t form complete sentences.
None of these things are catastrophes, of course. It’s just that when I do the things that help my mind, body and Heart I feel incredible. I have energy, enthusiasm, and I end my day with a great sense of satisfaction. And when I don’t I eventually feel crummy. My attention narrows. My energy wanes, and the worst of it is that I miss out on connections with my family, friends, and the great folks I work with.
I’m Human (gasp!)
I’m human. (I write this because it is a total shock to my mind who thinks I should be SUPER-human). Being human means I need to move in ebbs and flows. I need to follow the whims of my heart rather than letting my mind run the show with its strict rules and regulations. It also means I can’t possibly keep up with every single thing all the time.
As a regular, not-yet-enlightened-human I slip up. Often. Things get away from me, and then they continue to slide. One day of rest becomes 4 days of disconnection. Enjoying a delicious meal becomes 2 weeks of eating things that don’t nourish me. In the grand scheme of life none of this is a problem. But when I slip into old habits I don’t feel as good as when I’m living in alignment with srī (that which is life-affirming)
That’s why it was so good to hear it takes six or seven thousand repetitions to wire in simple movements. If it takes that many tries to get our bodies to be able to do things like wiggle fingers and brush our teeth it must also take more than one try to get our lives aligned so that they feel good.
Infinite Do-Overs
My meditation teacher uses a great phrase: Infinite Do-overs. It means we get to do life over and over again. I’m not talking about reincarnation. I’m talking about living with intention again and again. When things don’t go our way, we get to pick ourselves up and try again. And we get to celebrate when they do. Maybe it takes six or seven thousand trials for me to remember to put my phone down when my child wants to tell me something. But, at least with Infinite Do-overs I’m not doomed to stay disconnected forever.
Infinite Do-overs means you really can do it again. And again. If you had a conversation with a beloved and you weren’t the person you wanted to be - Infinite Do-overs - come back around and tell them what you wish you’d said. If you stayed up too late doom scrolling last night - Infinite Do-overs - put your phone down early tonight and go to bed at a reasonable time.
Often my mind has very high expectations of me. It thinks that if I decide to do something one time, that should be the end of it. I should never have to think about it again. I should just have the new habit completely wired into my life. But that’s rarely how things go for me - probably not for you either. What I find is that I try, and I mess up. If I can remember Infinite Do-overs then the mess up isn’t a problem. It’s just a new starting point for the do-over. This is how I learned to walk … surely it can be how I learn anything else.
Yoga, Meditation & Teaching
Infinite Do-overs are right up front in yoga and meditation. When you’re practicing yoga you might have a fabulous experience of a pose one day and a horrible experience with it the next. The great thing is that you’ll probably do that pose again and again. (Really. How many times have you practiced downward facing dog?) You can have as many do-overs as you want with every pose. And, because your’e never trying to make yoga perfect, the beautiful thing is that with each do-over you get to learn.
The same things happens in meditation; especially in the early stages. You’re sitting there and your mind wanders. You think about dinner, or what you watched on tv last night, or that rude thing your co-worker said, or how terrible a person you are. You’re not aware of your breath or anything else. Infinite Do-overs means you can bring your mind back to the present moment as many times as it takes. Eventually, with enough do-overs, state of meditation can arise.
As a yoga teacher I’ve found this incredible helpful when it feels like the class is crashing and burning. It would be easy to check out. I used to give up and say “This class sucks so I’m going to phone-in the rest of it.” But when I remember Infinite Do-overs I pull myself back into the class - oftentimes I’m able to salvage the end because I don't give up.
Not Perfect, but Real
That’s really the point of this whole thing isn’t it? None of us is ever going to be perfect. We’re imperfect humans, parents, children, friends, teachers. The point isn’t even to try to be perfect. The point is to be as real, as authentic, as connected with ourselves and each other as possible. Living this way takes a lot of humility and compassion. And it takes the willingness to start over again and again. Six or seven thousand times maybe.
Infinite times probably.
Mindfully take a Do-Over
So if it’s time to take a do-over try this:
REFLECT - kindly look back on what’s been off lately. See if you can figure out where you got off track and let that guide your next step.
SET AN INTENTION - Your intention tells you what to do or what not to do as you re-align. It can be very simple and doesn’t have to be a 40-step plan. Just interrupt yourself when you’d usually go off track.
TAKE THE DO-OVER - Have the conversation, speak more kindly to yourself, start up your meditation practice. You’ll feel better when you set an intention - but you’ll really feel great when you take your do-over
REPEAT - as many times as needed (Infinitely)
Permission to take Do-overs
It may not feel wonderful to think you have to re-start. But, it’s such a gift to remember you’re not doomed. You can start over infinite times. Let yourself feel the feels, the struggle, the frustration, the pain, if needed. Then decide to start again.
Remember, it’s your birthright to align with srī. It’s your birthright to feel the love and support of the Universe moving through you: body, mind, and Heart. It’s your birthright to be enthusiastic, inspired, and to LOVE YOUR LIFE.
If you’ve fallen out of alignment with the practices and habits that bring you joy, please take a do-over. And then another. Take Infinite Do-overs if that’s what it takes.
When your ready for support to start or re-start, be in touch. Helping folks align their lives with their deepest desires is one of my favorite things to do!