We have a woman VP, What Else is Possible?
Tears streamed down my cheeks on Wednesday as I listened to Vice President Harris take the oath of office. There she stood. The FIRST. First Black Vice President. First Asian Vice President. FIRST WOMAN VICE PRESIDENT. Ever.
I was struck by the thought: If no one had believed it was possible to have Kamala Harris as Vice President, it would never have happened. But because the American people were open to the possibility of a Black Asian Female being our Vice President she now serves as second in command. And I believe our nation is better for it.
One thing Vice President Harris’s appointment can teach us is to be open to possibilities.
YOU’RE STUCK
It’s so easy to get caught in only one way of seeing, thinking about, or doing things. You may be doing things the way they’ve always been done just because they’ve always been done that way. Or you might be scared to try something new. Or you’ve dug in to a position and it seems impossible to change course now.
When you’re locked in like that, you limit your options. You end up stuck in the same old patterns whether they’re serving you or not. Without the capacity to be curious and explore, you hang on even if it means more fear and disconnection. And, as you cling to your own rigidity, you run the risk of shutting others out. So you lose valuable input that might help you solve tough problems. Worst Case, your closed-sightedness can end relationships because you’re no longer able to see or hear other points of view.
WHEN YOU OPEN
On the other hand, when you’re open to possibilities, your mind is nimble. You can see that old ways aren’t always the right ways just because they’ve been around for a while. You know it’s ok to let go of the past and lean into the future. You aren’t afraid to try new things. Life feels exciting as you carve your own path and let it shift as you learn.
But even better than what goes on inside of you, is what happens with other people. When you’re open to possibilities, your relationships grow. Being open to new information and perspectives makes you a lot easier to be around. That means people come towards you, ready to connect and collaborate.
In short, being open to possibilities means you’re able to grow and change. We’ve all met that older person who is a cranky curmudgeon -set in their ways and not about to change them. And we’ve all seen how miserable some folks are when they’re so rigid. If that’s where you want to go, then by all means, dig your heels in. But I’d much rather be an available and connected older person. And I know that work starts now, by remaining open to possibilities.
TRY IT
The first step in opening, is noticing that you’re closed.
If you’re trying to solve a problem but you’re feeling closed to new solutions, try this.
Take a few centering breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth
Write down what the problem is so that you are very clear.
Write down a few plausible outcomes/solutions to the problem. It’s ok if they are your go to solutions. Notice if you’ve tried these things in the past and whether they worked or not
Good, now the reasonable, logical, tried and true are out of the way
Now write down the most unreasonable, illogical, irreverent, ridiculous, miraculous possibilities your mind can come up with
Don’t stop, do it again. Do it until you have at least 5 times the number of solutions as you had when you were being logical.
Do it until one of two things happens
One of your solutions is actually intriguing enough that you’re willing to try it.
You feel your brain shift from being stuck around the problem, to being open to possibilities around the problem.
If you didn’t come up with a new solution, that’s fine, go for a walk or take a shower. Put the problem out of your mind. Just by doing this exercise you’ve set your mind to solving the problem and given it a lot of new ideas. It will figure it out when you least expect it.
REIMAGINING A POSSIBILITy
One of my own regular problems is childcare. When I was a new mother I would get really stuck with who could keep my daughter and how long I was “allowed” to be away from home. My personal rules about it were really rigid and the result was that I almost never left my daughter and when I did I was super anxious about it.
A few years in I realized this wasn’t sustainable and I needed to explore other options. I started considering all the wild options for who could watch our daughter: the dog, angels from on high, the mail carrier, her pediatrician. Of course, none of these were actually viable solutions, but that wasn’t the point. Doing the exercise opened my eyes to possibilities I’d been ignoring. Now when I need help I have a wide range of people to call on. And that means I’m less stressed about childcare in general.
IMAGINE WHATS POSSIBLE
As soon as you start opening, you’ll find out that you’re only limited by what you can imagine.
The more you open, the more your imagination flows. The more your imagination flows, the more possibilities arise. Problems that seemed impossibly stuck, become solvable when you set your mind free to open to any and every possibility.
The amazing thing about doing this work is that when you get good at it, it starts to happen in the moment. Over time, you won’t have to step away and take time to consciously open, you’ll do it naturally. A problem will come up and you’ll look for possibilities instead of locking into unhelpful patterns. Your mind won’t be able to hold onto its rigidity because you’ve taught it to open so many times.
THE HIGHEST
That’s the beauty of doing inner work, it accumulates. Over time, opening to possibilities gets easier and easier. And our continued practice of opening eventually guides us to the great possibility of awakening to what the yogis call the Self. So while we’re practicing on every day life challenges, we’re really preparing ourselves for even greater possibilities that come with awakening. Possibilities like peace, freedom, and abiding joy. Those are the deepest reasons to open our hearts and minds every chance we get.