A Loving Practice for a Hard World
Earlier this week I was in the car with my son when he said: “Mama, this song is inappropriate for me” I was a little surprised so I asked him why and he said “they’re singing about Hating people and I don’t like hating people, so it’s inappropriate, I don’t want to listen to it” When I listened closely I realized he was right, the lyrics said something about hating people and them hating the singer.
We live in a time when a lot of people are spreading hate. It has become somewhat acceptable to hate another person or group of people simply because of what they stand for or how they look. People hate without even getting to know the individuals they hate.
When you’re a person who doesn’t want to be oriented towards hate and you live in that world, it can feel scary, exhausting, disheartening, and frustrating. It’s hard on sensitive souls who are trying to turn towards Love, peace, and non-violence to be confronted with a hate-filled environment. And I am a white woman living in a pretty traditional arrangement - so I know I can’t even BEGIN to know what my non-white and non-traditional neighbors experience.
If those who would stand up to hate are not careful - we become it ourselves. We hate people who hate - which is still hating people even if you think you’re on the ‘right’ side of things.
So, if you’re not going to hate people, what can you do
when you’re confronted with negativity and heartbreak?
Practice Loving-Kindness.
Loving-Kindness practice is pausing for a moment to wish all beings everywhere (including yourself) Health, Safety, Happiness, and Ease or Freedom. That means when you’d rather brace yourself against the person standing right in front of you shouting things you abhor, you do your best to soften your heart, look beyond the content of their words, remember they are human and wish that they can feel safety. When social media have you geared up for a fight with some unknown enemy you pause, remember to breathe, and wish that all the world could experience true freedom. You can practice Loving-Kindness anytime. When you’re driving and are cut off send a wish for safety, when you’re standing in line behind a person you can’t stand send a wish for their happiness. Even on the yoga mat when the person beside you breathes funny or is not following the rules - remember that person is a human (and may be suffering) and offer a wish for freedom.
Let’s not forget that Loving-Kindness extends to you as well. So when you’re in that line feeling challenged or afraid you wish safety for yourself. If you feel exhausted and are still being hit with circumstances beyond your control you wish for more ease and freedom for yourself. By considering yourself in such a loving way, you strengthen yourself internally. You give yourself an immunity boost against this world. And when you feel that inner strengthening you can take the actions you need to take - something as small as quietly changing lines at the super market, or something as big as standing on a national stage and calling for social justice.
With Loving-Kindness practice the point is that YOU keep your capacity to love, no matter what goes on with the people around you. You practice Loving-Kindness so that you keep your heart open and don’t slide into hate. When your heart is open, it’s easy to wish for health, safety, happiness, and freedom for all beings, because the only language the Heart speaks is Love.
Ready to try Loving-Kindness practice? Sit for meditation and repeat these words in your mind or aloud.
May all beings everywhere, including myself experience Safety
May all beings everywhere, including myself, experience Health
May all beings everywhere, including myself, experience Happiness
May all beings everywhere, including myself, live with Ease
If you have more time try directing the blessings first to yourself, then to a good friend, then to a difficult person, then to all beings everywhere. As, as I mentioned in the post, you can do this anytime anywhere, simply offer a blessing in your mind and allow yourself to settle back into your heart.
This is not a new practice by any means. You can find lots of variations on it by looking up Loving-Kindness practice or Metta practice on the internet.
Did you try it? I’d love to hear how it goes for you, please leave a comment in the space below.