The only "right" way, is YOUR way


Who says there’s only one RIGHT way to do things? It has taken me a long time to get here, but I definitely don’t believe that anymore. I think the world is full of amazing people with interesting minds. And EVERYONE has their own way to solve problems and do things. How could there possibly be only one RIGHT way?

Sure, there are examples of things that need to be done in only one right way: doing your taxes, calculating re-entry for a spacecraft, open heart surgery. Those are things where improvisation probably isn't a great idea. But for most other things, you can drop the suffering and the drama that come with trying to do things the RIGHT way and step into the freedom of doing things YOUR way.

Here’s an example. A few years ago a friend of mine was working on planning her first retreat. She’d planned retreats before with me and with another friend, but this one was the first she was planning by herself. She knew my style was to sit down and crank out a plan from start to finish. And so, she kept pushing herself to do it like me. She thought that was the “right” way to plan a retreat. Only, it sucked for her to try to do it that way. Every time she sat down to work she felt like her skin was crawling. And when she wasn’t working she felt like a complete failure and like the retreat was going to be a disaster.

We had a few minutes to talk while she was stressed out and I reminded her she didn't need to plan my way - she could do it her own way. That changed everything. My friend realized she has a different approach. She’s more freeform in her planning - a note and idea here, a thought or word there. In the end she pulls it all together at the last second and leaves room for magic.

As soon as she let herself work in her way she relaxed and enjoyed the planning process. And of course, she had an exceptional retreat.

The problem with trying to do things “right” is that it limits you. When you try to do things “right” you bury your intuition and you can’t innovate or evolve. You choke off your innate magic. And you end up with suffering and tension. Trying to do things the “right” way means you’re stuck in a kind of perfectionism - get it right, do it right! It’s not real. YOU are real.

Your real way of doing things may not look like what your family, friends, or boss think it should look like. You may not sound like anyone you’ve ever met. GOOD! Who wants to be a copy cat? The point is, nobody knows your style, your nuance, your way of doing things better than you do. So, you don’t have to look to everyone else to tell you how to do things. Look inside, you can trust yourself.

As you open up to letting yourself do things YOUR way you also start to make space for others to do things their way. Being YOU helps you celebrate diverse opinions and empower those around you to get REAL too. So you doing you, changes the world.

The invitation now is, instead of looking around and searching for the “right” way to do things, look inside and remember:

The only RIGHT way, is YOUR way.

Now, I’d love to hear from you… What is one thing in your life that you truly do YOUR way? Leave a comment in the space below, and let’s inspire each other.

Do you have a hard time knowing what YOUR way feels like, or challenging the ideas you’ve been taught about doing things “right”? I’d love to support you in becoming more of yourself. Let’s schedule a coaching call.