The past several weeks have been extremely full. Yoga Teacher Training, My grandmother’s passing, visiting with family, my daughter’s tenth birthday, my anniversary, my grandmother’s memorial service… and regular life on top of that. When my life gets busy - especially when heavy emotions are involved - I tend to drop my self-care, including my yoga practice. And of course I inevitably feel much worse than I would if I could find a way to keep it up.
It takes a different kind of discipline to restart my practices when life feels too much for them. I think of it as a Loving sort of Tenacity.
Tenacity is required because it isn’t easy. It’s hard to find the time, the energy, the agreement and support from other people. Tenacity because I want to choose any number of less supportive things like television, sugar, sleep, and zoning out. And so tenacity, a feeling of clawing through resistance and obstacles no matter what is absolutely necessary. Without it I’ll be on the couch, not my mat.
But that tenacity can get to be too much, and I can overwork myself at a time when I honestly am depleted. It has to be tempered with Love. Bringing love into the equation is remembering that I am human, not a robot. Remembering that all of those things I listed are real, they really are happening and they take more energy, time, and attention than a standard day. That has an effect. Love is compassion and empathy towards myself.
And Love is healthy self-boundaries. Not too much tenacity. Not too much zoning out on the couch. Somewhere in the middle is just the right balance for the day - Love helps me find it.