In the last two days a flip was switched and I went from generally chill and relaxed into anxiety-ridden frustration. And so I immediately
hopped on my mat and took care of it dove into munching on the sweets that have piled up in our house and nearly nibbled my fingernails off. Yesterday about all I could do to work with the situation was to set about making a small amount of order out of my house.
Today I had 20 minutes so a I sat down to sort out what on Earth was the cause... and so what could I do about it?
Guess what? In typical fashion for this time of year, I'd let my mental To-Do list absolutely overwhelm my actual amount of time and energy available. I even thought I'd paired down my list this year, but when preggo, the list apparently needs to be much shorter.
After sitting with it, my list for the next two days looks like this:
Make cookies for the teachers at school
Bake gifts to give at the two parties we're going to this weekend
Fold, Sort, Put away Laundry
Pull out the bed for my parents who are arriving tonight
Make food for the family at school who could use it
Make food for my bro and wife who just had a baby
Make healthy food for us and my parents who'll be around this weekend helping with said bro and baby
Put up the Chistmas tree
Put up holiday lights
Wrap the presents
Make the one little crafty thing for my daughter that I want to make
work on my website
find a permanent babysitter.
I took a page from the mom-book of a friend of mine and decided to do absolutely as little as possible that I could still feel OK about getting at least something done.
The result: I feel a whole ton better. I'm sitting here blogging when I don't even "have" to be, and something inside of me feels a lot softer than it did when I woke up this morning. I'm also running on way less sugar.
It's reminding me of the teaching that we don't actually need to over-do, and over effort in our asana poses or in the application of the principles to the poses. In the practice, in our bodies, and in our lives, it is so much more about being sensitive to subtlies and adjusting mindfully, always doing just what is needed and not a bit more. Doing more usually doesn't help.
My new to-do list for the holiday season:
Asana (even if it's all restoratives all month)
Yoga Nidra and guided savasanas
Meditation and Pranayama
Go to bed early when possible
and that's enough.
Anything else is icing on the gingerbread.
Contemplation: How little could you allow yourself to do in the next few weeks?