This morning I'm blogging from my bed while my 2-year-old is sitting in the next room with my iPhone watching YouTube. I'm having one of those "yeah, I'm an awesome parent" moments.
Yesterday I came in from a coaching call to my husband telling me he has a double hernia and will need surgery with a six week minimum recovery time. We didn't even finish that story before my little dude started throwing up all over the kitchen. I spent the next four hours being puked on every fifteen minutes. When he finally went to sleep my husband and daughter walked in the house five minutes later and woke him up. He slept until about 1 am then begged and cried for water which immediately came back up. He finally went to bed in his own crib and slept from 4-6. He's looking better now but I haven't tried giving him any food yet.
This morning's conversation with my husband included him telling me he's gotten a job next weekend which will mean that if I want to go to the yoga workshop I signed up for a month ago I'd better get on the phone and find someone to watch my kids.
I'm more than a little worried that I'll come down with whatever this thing is that my son brought home. And somehow this is the week that I've signed on to sub several extra classes. I'll be in the studio tomorrow morning, Sunday morning, and Sunday afternoon. The Sunday classes will be extra fun because it's the Watermelon Festival in Carytown. Pandemonium!
Why am I even writing this? First, to squelch any rumors that by becoming a yoga teacher your life somehow becomes "perfect" and you never have to deal with disappointment, frustration, illness, or the unexpected. Becoming a yoga teacher only means you have to deal with those things while also being on the schedule to teach yoga classes.
Second, to say that it's real. My life your life every thing in it. And this is the moment of choice about how to Live within the realness. I have a choice right now. I could dwell on the fact that I was thrown-up on several times yesterday, and that I didn't get enough sleep last night. I could stress and worry about possibly being sick tomorrow or Sunday when I'm supposed to be ON. I could worry about the fact that I probably won't make it to my mat today. And I could be pissed that my husband's job means I have to scramble if I want to keep my needs met.
Or. I couldn't.
I could instead remember that yesterday is over. Last night is through. I'm grateful that I'm not being puked on right now and I feel well (just tired) right now. I can choose to know that my years of experience teaching are enough to get me through teaching the class even if it isn't the mind-blowing extravaganza I'd like it to be. Just showing up will be plenty. If I am sick I can get a sub. If I can get a babysitter for next weekend I will. If I can't, I won't ... there will be other workshops.
What I'm learning through yoga and coaching is the power of choice. I can choose to freak-out because things aren't just right or I can choose to come as I am.
Today I'll choose one foot in front of the other. And try to show up.