I am, well, WAS a cranky lady today. It happens to the best of us. Ugh. It's really all my own doing and is a reminder to Pay Attention or live with the Consequences. Why, hello Karma, nice to see you again.
Let's rewind, shall we. Remember on Monday it was my husband's birthday? Well, his favorite birthday treat is Key Lime Pie. It is awesome and he completely finished his by Tuesday night. So yesterday I made another one (seeing as how Babe and I'd barely gotten a taste of the first one). Yesterday was uneventful and he worked late not getting home until around 10:15. Around 10:20 that darn pie started calling to us in it's sweet yet tart yet tangy yet cool yet creamy voice saying we just had to taste a tiny bite. Really the oreo crust shouldn't be left alone there in the fridge unaccompanied, right? So we did. I had the smallest of pieces. But it was at 10:20 pm (when I'm usually lights out at 10, mind you)
That was IT. I stayed up late reading. Then I tossed and turned all night unable to get to sleep and stay asleep with the strange dreams...
That pie set me up for the crankiest day.. no early morning practice as I like to do on Thursdays before teaching, a weird disconnectedness in my teaching, (a lovely visit with a friend) and then shortness with my daughter as she came out from school.
Things were not looking good. Thank goodness, I woke up and decided I didn't want to go down with the ship. I looked at my daughter who was singing a crazy song not to annoy the bajesus out of me but because she was just so darn happy. And I decided to borrow from her.
For the first few minutes, switching from crankmeister to happy-go-lightly was really challenging. But then I settled in. Blowing bubbles for her reminded me to enjoy taking deep breaths. Being the soundtrack for her dance party reminded me to stop and sing once in a while. And demanding that I practice asana good and hard during her nap, then eat a healthful snack were the final switches to flip. I'm not totally better. I could use a little more sleep. A little more quiet time with no agenda today. But at least I'm not about to take anybody's head off anymore.
It reminds me of what Todd said at the workshop in the fall: "Let your afterwards be your teacher." Of course, I've learned the Don't eat chocolate after 8pm, and Don't stay up too late before you have to work in the morning lessons quite a few times. And I'll probably learn them again, but at least now I'm paying attention to it. And at least now I'm starting to learn that I can save a sinking ship. It doesn't all have to fall apart, instead I can fight for every single moment until a switch is made. I'm learning how much is in my control. Inevitably, I do switch back to bliss-ish, that's my ground of being, you know.
So. that's my day, take what you will.